Battlemouth

Friday afternoon I decided I’d go check out some horror in 3D to pass the time and possibly entertain myself. Good thing My Bloody Valentine was just remade into a digital 3D remake of the old school horror classic and came out that very day!

The gimmick of seeing blood sex and gore in 3D was far too alluring and I fell victim to a half assed murder mystery trying to pretend it was a good old fashioned horror flick. MBV started off with a bang, lots of gore and craziness and some fun 3D elements. Unfortunately right after that it fell flat on its face and writhed around for awhile until it ultimately pick axed itself in the head.

The plot had twists that were laughable, I seriously used one of their plot points in a story I wrote in 5th grade about people stealing video games from each-other. Most of the acting would’ve been campy and fun if they weren’t all trying to take themselves so seriously. Plot holes galore and characters I could give two shits about ultimately lead me to be more interested in seeing how far I could move my 3D glasses from my head and see it (about 3 feet).

I think what they were going for in MBV was a whodunnit that had horror elements, instead it was a whenisthisgoingtobeover with some boobs and gore. Another thing, after seeing someone get whacked in the head with a pick axe for the 9th time I was hoping they’d come up with some more creative kills. I’ll give them credit there were 2 good ones and another attempt that just ended up looking silly. But over all everything felt predictable and bland, this one is probably best left for a rental but only if its the 3D version.

AND no town gets that hyped up for valentine’s day.